Why is my child lazy?

Do you think your child is a lazy learner who won’t focus?  Are you constantly wondering why he/she can’t follow simple directions?  Do you struggle to teach your child even the basics of each subject?  If you suspect your child is dyslexic, then read on.  Maybe read on even if you’re not sure. 

Dyslexia is a learning disorder marked by severe difficulty in recognizing and understanding the written language which leads to reading, spelling, and writing problems.  It is not caused by low intelligence or brain damage. 

There is a list of numerous things to look for in a dyslexic child provided in the links I have here on my blog.  Please, please research them. 

I say do your research because until you understand what your child is going through, you can’t begin to help them.  As the old saying goes, “don’t judge a man/child until you’ve walked a mile in his shoes.”   It is a long and lonely path, especially if you are in a public school. 

I know… I am dyslexic.  I became a master at hiding my lack of understanding.  You may wonder why a child would be like that when all they have to do is ask their teacher.  Well for so many of us, teachers only wanted to tell you once, maybe twice (if you’re lucky) after that, came the yelling and being told to sit down.  

“You should’ve paid better attention!” 

“You’re lazy!” 

“You don’t focus!” 

The teachers would say… “There’s no dumb question.”  (eye roll)  

Sadly, in school I never met a teacher who didn’t squint their eyes and ask me…

“Why can’t you get this, it’s so simple.” 

So unfortunately, most dyslexic kids had rather be labeled lazy than be thought of as stupid.  Thankfully many teachers today are being equipped with the knowledge of how to teach children who suffer with dyslexia.  This has been great news for those in public school but the same pressure to not feel stupid in front of your peers or parents… has, and always will be, a person’s driving force to hide their dyslexia. 

Understand…dyslexia is NOT something to “cure.”  Nor can it be threshed out of them physically or mentally with relentless, overbearing learning tactics.  I have learned over the years, that it wasn’t my children’s fault for their lack of concentration, but my way of teaching them. 

Have your child tested if you don’t know where their level is.  If you homeschool, you may already know what level your child is at.  I would suggest finding any and every way possible to teach them… that ENGAGES them.  A dyslexic child needs multiple ways of learning.  Use anything and everything to teach them.  Pinterest is filled with ideas.  Use on-line programs that offer games to teach reading and math.  Make up your own.  It doesn’t matter how silly it is.  If it helps them learn it, great! Hands on is always the best.  

This is my Leap'n Letters I made up several years ago.  He was a frog jumping to the correct letter lily pad.  I simply cut a blue plastic tablecloth into the shape of a "pond."  I wrote the letters he was learning on green construction paper.  Then I cut them into the shape of lily pads.  You could also use this for the phonic sounds not just letter recognition.

   

Anyway…

Patience is key!  I was not patient for a long time even though I am moderately dyslexic.  When you grow up being taught one way, you think that’s the ONLY way of teaching.  So with my daughter, who is also moderately dyslexic, I began my slow journey of understanding dyslexia, but giving that she wasn’t too bad, I didn’t stray much from worksheets and flash cards.  

Unfortunately, my son (age 9 now), is severely to profoundly dyslexic.  In the beginning I knew he had trouble with turning his letters around but it wasn’t until he wasn’t “growing out of it” that I realized there had to be more to it.  Everyday was the same thing… flash cards, worksheets, reading the same phonics books over and over, just like with his sister, but getting nowhere.  He had trouble remembering his ABC’s much less the phonics for them.  Word families meant nothing to him.  He doesn’t comprehend them.  If your child is similar, then look through the awesome sites for dyslexia I have linked on here. 

My advice; with tutoring or homeschooling, don’t be afraid to go back a level or two.  The problem with older dyslexic children, is they still need picture books.  Read those books anyway, regardless of age.  Constantly remind them what the words are rather than telling them they should know it.  Understand, sounding out the word is almost impossible for moderate to severely dyslexic children.  Again, be patient, they’re not even sure if they’re looking at it right.  Remember, their mind turns the letters and words every which way… but the right way.  I know.  I’ve been there.  Don’t make them feel more ashamed by scolding them for something they have no control over. 

No one wants to feel like an idiot.  Regardless of how frustrated you are, it won’t help matters if their parents make them feel that way too.  I’ve been guilty of saying those very phrases I hated so much.  Learning is a natural thing for kids.  When it feels like a chore they’re less likely to WANT to learn.  Make learning fun if you can.  Don’t be guilty of calling your child lazy when your effort of teaching in an engaging way is lacking. 

Please share my blog.  Get the word out.  Help kids learn!