Breaking Free From Dyslexia

If you’re a dyslexic, at least moderate to severe, you know what it’s like to feel… ashamed of your intelligence.  To feel… like you’re the only one who doesn’t get what everyone else is talking about.  To feel… like an idiot at work because the customer has told you their phone number 3 times and you’re still not sure if you have it right.  That happened to me more than once and it was so embarrassing.  Mainly because the customer was squinting their eyes at me, head tilted, looking at me as if they were wondering how I didn’t fall down more… (you know, from my lack of intelligence).
      

But that wasn’t the worst work experience for me.  I’d have to say, it was when the cash registers were down and I actually had to count money back to a customer.  Oh the horror….  It was one thing to write down a phone number incorrectly but a whole different ballgame when you give a customer incorrect change.  The stress of having a line a mile long with customers was normal but this anxiety was due to the fact, that you know numbers get all jumbled in your head.  Yes, even the simplest of math problems. 

I felt as though I was being transported back to school.  I was standing there, completely dazed, just like I did when I was looking at a math problem on the board.  My mind went blank as I thought about the numbers.  I remembered how I hated being called on to work out a math problem in front of the whole class.  I could “feel” everyone’s eyes on me. Everyone laughing at me.  My only saving grace was my allergies to the chalk or markers.  A sneezing fit would hit me and I would be asked to sit down.  What a relief!  That was the only time I was thankful for my allergies.

Despite my dyslexia and allergies, I did make good grades believe or not.  But that was all thanks to my Mom who worked tirelessly helping me do homework to truly get it in my head.  

Unfortunately making good grades didn’t help me feel any less stupid.  Thanks to certain people, like my first grade teacher, who gave me a 0 on a math worksheet.  Every answer was correct but transposed.  If only she would have taken a moment to see that the answers were only transposed.  She could have let me write them down again, but instead, she left the 0 on my record.  It’s sad that so many students still face this. 

Through bad experiences such as these, your child may never feel smart.  They too may feel ashamed and bound to their dyslexia.

So how can you help your child break free from feeling so ashamed?  How can you help them unscramble words, letters and numbers?  How can you keep them from letting dyslexia define them?

1)  Breaking free from dyslexia… for a child starts with knowing someone believes in them.  Someone showing them they are smart in many different ways.  Trust me, they are being shown all day how others view their intelligence whether it’s by a look, by being told “it’s not that hard” or by being punished because they couldn’t understand what was being taught. 

2)  Breaking free from dyslexia… isn’t about “curing” it.  It’s about being allowed to learn in your own way.  Knowing that’s it’s ok to learn it that way.  Help them understand why they struggle.  Henry Winkler has children’s books that may help your child understand why they think differently.  Most likely, they’ll struggle their whole life with dyslexia but understanding why, makes a huge difference. 

3)  Breaking free from dyslexia… isn’t about never feeling vulnerable about ones intelligence.  It is understanding that EVERYONE is smart, in their own way.  Only the sky is the limit!

4)  Breaking free from dyslexia… IS about being brave enough to try again and again until you get it!  I know as a Mom, I want to just kiss them and make it go away but thankfully my husband is great at encouraging our kids to keep trying.  To let them learn on their own at times.  He let go of the bicycle.  Don’t be afraid to do the same. 

Stop worrying…

look at the big picture and remember...
 they will learn… 

they WILL be ok... 
keep cheering them on!   

Focus Pocus!

Focus pocus! 

Have you ever been sick with a cold?  Of course you have, unless you’re super human.  Do you remember feeling like you couldn’t convey a coherent thought while you were sick?  It was even worse if you still had to go to work.  You may have taken cold medicine thinking it would help alleviate your symptoms only to find you still couldn’t seem to focus.  Being a dyslexic is like having a brain fog from a cold 24/7.  

One minute you feel focused but the next minute you’re not.  Certain things you see clearly but most of it is a blur.

Well... while it may feel like a focusing problem and it certainly looks like one to those who are trying to teach a child with dyslexia…it is not!  It is a huge misconception that dyslexic’s have a focusing problem.  That they can’t focus long enough to understand what’s being taught.  Actually we have a, “learn it this way only” problem. 

In all fairness, we’re too focused.  When someone begins talking to me, my brain immediately stops listening after the first thing they say.  Why? Because it's focusing ONLY on the first part of what’s being said to “figure” it out.  Whether by picturing what’s being said or asked of me or because I didn’t fully understand the words you said.  But eventually when my little brain does figure it out, I will catch the last thing you say and then work to piece it all together.    

As an EMT we called this tunnel vision.  Tunnel vision (as an EMT) is when you come up to an injured person in a car wreck and your eyes automatically go to his broken leg.  You carefully splint his leg just the right way.  Unfortunately, you’ve forgotten to check his airway.  Because why did the wreck happen?  He was choking on a cheeseburger.  Now he’s dead anyway because your eyes couldn’t see past the broken leg.

A dyslexic lives their life in a tunnel such as this.  They focus on the first thing they “see” and everything else seems confusing and blurry because their brain won’t… can’t see past it.   Whether they are reading a book, being read to or talking to someone, we focus on bits and pieces of what we hear.  The rest is a blur.  But we quickly try to figure out this blur, mainly to save face because who wants to appear stupid and incapable of understanding something. 

It’s embarrassing to have a paper in front of you that others are reading and everyone is finished laughing at the joke and you’re still on the first paragraph.  I am 38 and I will still read the first line, skip through the middle picking out keys words and then read the last line or two and laugh with everyone else.  

Back to my point, this foggy cloud or blur is why so many dyslexics are good at thinking outside of the box and putting things together… but in a creative way.  Our brains are always trying to figure something out and won’t hear anything else being said or they are being creative and adding to what’s being said.

This is also why so many schools have a tough time picking out someone with dyslexia.  We learn quickly how to hide it.  A dyslexic understands everything through creative processing.  That’s why so many dyslexics are creative people. It's just the way their brain works.

So when teaching, remember to let them be very creative.  That’s how they will learn it best.  Read a page and then let them draw what they “see.”  Even if you’re teaching math, let them draw pictures until they “get it.”  When I was learning how acidosis and alkalosis affected the body… I drew pictures.  I had read it numerous times but it wasn’t until I drew it out that I really understood it.  

In all things when teaching a dyslexic child, remember patience and being creative are the keys.  Just because you could learn it like the other 98% of the class did, doesn’t mean they will learn it the way you were taught.  As I said in a different post, multi-sensory learning with hands on teaching is best for anyone who suffers with dyslexia.

If you would like to become a dyslexic tutor, there are lots of great reading programs that are available to learn just how to teach a dyslexic child such as Orton-Gillingham or Barton Reading.  Click on the sites to find a program near you.

  

Dyslexia Art Contest

The Alabama Branch of the International Dyslexia Association is calling for paintings, drawings, photographs, and sculpture that portray your expression of dyslexia and how it affects your life through the strengths and the challenges that exist from Alabama children, teens and adults. The contest is to raise awareness of dyslexia and its strength-related and challenge-related impacts, in coordination with Dyslexia Awareness Month, October. The winners’ artworks will be displayed on our website, at potential regional educational group meetings via a power point slideshow, and on notecards created by Little Birds Etc. to be available on the ALIDA website. For 2014, all submissions will be through digital format. In subsequent years, we hope to expand this to actual submissions of art pieces and written work. Please click for additional information:

http://idaalabama.org/artcontest2013.html

Disclaimer:

(This is an art contest a friend of mine told me about.  Hopefully they won't mind me borrowing part of their ad to help advertise.  Please go to their site for additional info.)  

I'm Learning By Osmosis

I remember growing up having this cute Garfield poster on my wall.  Every time I read it, I would think… “If only it were that simple.”  Well, in a way it is.  We all enjoy learning things we’re passionate about.  So when it comes to teaching/tutoring your kids... find their passion, their niche/talent.  The idea here is to allow their learning to seep in by using their passions.  For me as a child, it was dogs.  Reading was such a chore.  I hated doing anything that resembled homework… unless it was about dogs.  Then I could study the encyclopedia (remember those) all day long.

But if your kids are like mine, they have more than one that you can use… 

Whether it’s their love for art, music, cooking, animals or building things you can find something to help them learn any subject. 

As I mentioned in my last post, my daughter is moderately dyslexic.  She too struggled with learning to read but once I found her niche of books, Magic Tree House, she flew through them.   Now she really loves reading… for pleasure.  That’s something I can say I NEVER wanted to do growing up.   

Finding their niche and using their talents for it, builds up their confidence.  This is very important, because so much of their day is spent feeling stupid from having to read everything, that they don’t ever feel smart.  Using alternate methods of learning will help your child realize just how smart they really are. 

To give you an example…I also used her love of cooking/baking to help with math.  We even took a cake decorating class together.  This was the cake she made for me all by herself on my birthday last year.  

For an on-line math outlet, we use Khan Academy which has been absolutely wonderful.  Once your child masters a level, only then, are they allowed to move on to the next level.  They can play a math video, as often as they need to, until they understand how to work the problem.  As she goes through each level, Khan Academy will email her progress reports to me.

For my son, who has severe dyslexia, it has been a much greater struggle to learn.  Besides reading numerous Marvel series, level 1 & 2 reading books, I try to mix in a few worksheets (education.com), informative TV shows (Kratt Brothers), computer games (time4learning) and of course hands on anything around the house. 

When I say hands on anything around the house, I mean it.  Our son has a great imagination.  Thankfully my husband is great at helping him with all his imagineer projects.  Forts, t.p.’s, tree house, zip lines for toy men and numerous cardboard box “things”.  

Simplicity is best… because when you apply everything they NEED to learn with things they WANT to learn, you no longer have quite the battle.  Learning with hands on teaching allows a dyslexic child to think outside of the box to problem solve, which in most cases, they excel at. 

To be honest…I used to rush to help my kids figure something out, my husband on the other hand, has been great at getting our kids to problem solve on their own.  It even creates new adventures of fun… all in the name of “trying to figure it out.”   

And when they do figure something out on their own… the look on their face, is priceless.  Building up their confidence and abilities while making your job easier teaching them is a definite… win-win. 

As long as you see JOY in their eyes… you’re doing great!

10 things Dyslexic kids wish for:

Why is my child lazy?

Do you think your child is a lazy learner who won’t focus?  Are you constantly wondering why he/she can’t follow simple directions?  Do you struggle to teach your child even the basics of each subject?  If you suspect your child is dyslexic, then read on.  Maybe read on even if you’re not sure. 

Dyslexia is a learning disorder marked by severe difficulty in recognizing and understanding the written language which leads to reading, spelling, and writing problems.  It is not caused by low intelligence or brain damage. 

There is a list of numerous things to look for in a dyslexic child provided in the links I have here on my blog.  Please, please research them. 

I say do your research because until you understand what your child is going through, you can’t begin to help them.  As the old saying goes, “don’t judge a man/child until you’ve walked a mile in his shoes.”   It is a long and lonely path, especially if you are in a public school. 

I know… I am dyslexic.  I became a master at hiding my lack of understanding.  You may wonder why a child would be like that when all they have to do is ask their teacher.  Well for so many of us, teachers only wanted to tell you once, maybe twice (if you’re lucky) after that, came the yelling and being told to sit down.  

“You should’ve paid better attention!” 

“You’re lazy!” 

“You don’t focus!” 

The teachers would say… “There’s no dumb question.”  (eye roll)  

Sadly, in school I never met a teacher who didn’t squint their eyes and ask me…

“Why can’t you get this, it’s so simple.” 

So unfortunately, most dyslexic kids had rather be labeled lazy than be thought of as stupid.  Thankfully many teachers today are being equipped with the knowledge of how to teach children who suffer with dyslexia.  This has been great news for those in public school but the same pressure to not feel stupid in front of your peers or parents… has, and always will be, a person’s driving force to hide their dyslexia. 

Understand…dyslexia is NOT something to “cure.”  Nor can it be threshed out of them physically or mentally with relentless, overbearing learning tactics.  I have learned over the years, that it wasn’t my children’s fault for their lack of concentration, but my way of teaching them. 

Have your child tested if you don’t know where their level is.  If you homeschool, you may already know what level your child is at.  I would suggest finding any and every way possible to teach them… that ENGAGES them.  A dyslexic child needs multiple ways of learning.  Use anything and everything to teach them.  Pinterest is filled with ideas.  Use on-line programs that offer games to teach reading and math.  Make up your own.  It doesn’t matter how silly it is.  If it helps them learn it, great! Hands on is always the best.  

This is my Leap'n Letters I made up several years ago.  He was a frog jumping to the correct letter lily pad.  I simply cut a blue plastic tablecloth into the shape of a "pond."  I wrote the letters he was learning on green construction paper.  Then I cut them into the shape of lily pads.  You could also use this for the phonic sounds not just letter recognition.

   

Anyway…

Patience is key!  I was not patient for a long time even though I am moderately dyslexic.  When you grow up being taught one way, you think that’s the ONLY way of teaching.  So with my daughter, who is also moderately dyslexic, I began my slow journey of understanding dyslexia, but giving that she wasn’t too bad, I didn’t stray much from worksheets and flash cards.  

Unfortunately, my son (age 9 now), is severely to profoundly dyslexic.  In the beginning I knew he had trouble with turning his letters around but it wasn’t until he wasn’t “growing out of it” that I realized there had to be more to it.  Everyday was the same thing… flash cards, worksheets, reading the same phonics books over and over, just like with his sister, but getting nowhere.  He had trouble remembering his ABC’s much less the phonics for them.  Word families meant nothing to him.  He doesn’t comprehend them.  If your child is similar, then look through the awesome sites for dyslexia I have linked on here. 

My advice; with tutoring or homeschooling, don’t be afraid to go back a level or two.  The problem with older dyslexic children, is they still need picture books.  Read those books anyway, regardless of age.  Constantly remind them what the words are rather than telling them they should know it.  Understand, sounding out the word is almost impossible for moderate to severely dyslexic children.  Again, be patient, they’re not even sure if they’re looking at it right.  Remember, their mind turns the letters and words every which way… but the right way.  I know.  I’ve been there.  Don’t make them feel more ashamed by scolding them for something they have no control over. 

No one wants to feel like an idiot.  Regardless of how frustrated you are, it won’t help matters if their parents make them feel that way too.  I’ve been guilty of saying those very phrases I hated so much.  Learning is a natural thing for kids.  When it feels like a chore they’re less likely to WANT to learn.  Make learning fun if you can.  Don’t be guilty of calling your child lazy when your effort of teaching in an engaging way is lacking. 

Please share my blog.  Get the word out.  Help kids learn!